I am lost, I am tossed and played!

I am lost, I am tossed and played,
The vanity of it, being laid!
And you ask me to forget everything and love you again?
And you ask me, why don’t I feel anymore?Feel what? Love? Lust? Hate?
Oh! What are emotions, at all..I’v forgotten of late…
I am lost, I am tossed and played,
The vanity of it, being laid!
When you hold me now, that hunger, that insatiable hunger!
Why is it so bitter to taste?
How could all my love, all of it, which I mothered you with, go to such a waste?

Love me now! Where do you wish to make love?
My cheek? My lips? My chest and my breast?
And why not to my burning heart, which at a point of time, on your caress would rest??
Look there! Look how the moonlight falls on the cold lonely floor of my veranda!
I’v waited numerous nights for you, sobbing there!
But you never came! Never! NEVER! Never!

I am lost, I am tossed and played,
The vanity of it, being laid!
Now, to the firm fire that within me glow,It still fails to give your ‘game of a love’, a blow!
And did’nt you enjoy, making a joke of me, with the ones, you loathed the most?
Look now, how you laugh with them, at this joke?
No, no! I laugh too! I laugh too, at me, till tears stain my cheeks and my belly hurt!

I remember the nights when you made love to me,kissing my forehead,
I see myself in the mirror now and question myself,
“What went so wrong? How could all the love, in a moment, shed?”
I remember the silly fantacy of “Rajannya”- our future daughter..
Did I know, I was about to be made in your hands, a slaughter?

Love, Love! It is all for the sake of LOVE! That insidious mite!
Nobody can save me now,
Nobody can save me…Nobody!
And so, Just one last time before I go,
I want you to  know,
All this time I have been scared..
like drowning in the deepest oceans without a breath,
Overburdened myself with the sins of Hell,But, you, never came! YOU NEVER CAME!